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Beware, Young Lovers

by Hussalonia

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1.
Some boys will bring you flowers, maybe some candy, too, but I am different. Please let me explain. I writhe on the floor in pain. Everyone’s got their own way of expressing their love for you. A few guys got tattoos that spell out your name, but I writhe on the floor in pain. Now, I could write you a sonnet or two, but really what good are they of to you? And so you might think that I’m crazy, but it’s all quite subjective, you see. To intend to measure one’s love is insane, so let me writhe on the floor in pain.
2.
Good-ish 01:28
If you tell someone "I love you," it's like shooting them in the face. If you put someone above you, you are putting yourself in your place. But don’t it feel good-ish for now? Tell me my favorite story. It’s written all over your skin. As soon as it’s begun, a story starts ending, another waits to begin. Don’t it feel good-ish for now?
3.
I can read romantic verses ‘til the break of dawn, lend you my shoulder to lay your head upon, but I can’t make you happy. I will never make you happy. I can remember your birthday each and every year, give you all the space you want or stay right here, but I can’t make you happy. I will never make you happy. To give you my love, from what I can tell, is like throwing coins into a wishing well. I can rearrange my schedule just for you, or spend the rest of my life trying to, but I can’t make you happy. I will never make you happy.
4.
I think you’re hot, now be my therapist. I want to get with you, once you solve all my problems. Girl, shake that thing, and reveal to me what I'm in denial about. You make me wanna scream, and also make a list of my biggest fears. I'm gonna get you alone and drop my defense mechanisms. Just you and me baby, and we'll analyze my dreams. Work it, honey, and let me tell you how insecure I feel. Make me sweat, and then organize my life and be my therapist.
5.
Walk on water. Walk on a wire. Swallow a sword. Swallow fire. Magic spells the tragic ends. But they’re merely words, my friends. Magic spells the tragic ends. But they’re merely words, my friends. Don’t tell me this. Don’t tell me that. Please, don’t overthink. Don’t overreact. Less than three, greater than two. That’s the math of me and you. Less than three, greater than two. That’s the math of me and you. True love is dumb. True love is dumb. Just close your eyes and fall. Just close your eyes and fall. If you think you’re even just a little clever, true love cannot truly be. ‘Cause I’m not stupid; I know nothing lasts forever. Still, that’s how long I want you to stay with me. True love is dumb. True love is dumb. Just close your eyes and fall. Just close your eyes and fall.
6.
You might think that you’re ugly and you’re stupid and you’re boring. You might think that you’re a fool through and through. You might think that you’re crazy, unstable and unruly. You might think that you’re second-rate or average and pedestrian. You might think that you’re petty, small-minded and contemptible You might think you’re insufferable through and through. All these awful things, they just might be true! But don’t despair, ‘cause I still love you.
7.
You kiss my lips. I close my eyes. You’re my greatest compromise. You write my name. You spell it wrong I’m just waiting for someone better to come along. But I love you, for now. I love you, for now. The sharpest suit. The softest dress. We’re together, settling for less. But I love you, for now.
8.
1+1-1 01:56
One plus one minus one. It’s terrifying to know that love cannot be undone. Follow the flower all the way to dirt. There’s only one way out, and it’s gonna hurt. A kiss is just a kiss, but before your lips meet mine: there is no undoing this. The echoed response, each one dimmer with time. Life begins at will but ends by design.
9.
I fell for you, but not in love. I hate the the things we’re made of. You're just another thing I won't pretend to understand. Two people sick with the same disease. Two sinners afraid to get on their knees. You're just another thing I won't pretend to understand.
10.
I know you don’t have an ounce of affection for me, but please could you try to anyway? I lost my mind just to love you. I see your face in every ID badge. I hear your voice in every intercom. I lost my mind just to love you.
11.
I’ll never break your heart. I’ll never make you cry. I’ll never forget to say I love you whenever we say goodbye. I’ll never steal all the covers off the bed or forget about our plans, making other ones instead. I’ll never piss you off by locking us both outside. I’ll never do any of these things if you never give me the opportunity. I’ll never get you lost. I’ll never make you sick. I’ll never get you involved when I’m in a predicament. You’ll never clean or cook for me or hear the same old stories repeatedly, You’ll never get bored with me keeping you company. Never will it come to be if you never give it the opportunity. I’ll love you the size of death. Empty my pockets, count my breaths. I’d be so lucky to have you to get sick of.
12.
Give me one last wooden kiss goodbye. You never loved me and I know why. The truth, they say, will set you free. That’s exactly what it’s done to me. You were a dream come true and all that stuff. I was merely close enough. Give me one last wooden kiss goodbye. Love is patient and kind of a lie.

about

Beware, Young Lovers began as a lo-fi-experimental-comedy-EP about love, and eventually morphed into the LP you’re looking at — kind of that, mostly not.

Primarily recorded live to a Marantz PMD221 mono cassette deck (using the built-in microphone) with overdubs done on a (dysfunctional) Roland VS-880 digital 8-track.

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released February 14, 2016

All songs written and performed by The Hussalonia Founder ©2016 BMI.

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Hussalonia Buffalo, New York

Hussalonia is largely the work of a multi-instrumentalist known only as The Hussalonia Founder.

Founded in 1997, Hussalonia is a "pop music cult" and claims to be owned by Nefarico™, a fictional soap company.

The Hussalonia Founder lives and works in Buffalo, New York.
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