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In Regards to the Breakfast Cereal Ban

from Dear Hussalonia: Letters from Animals, Mostly Ducks by Hussalonia

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Dear Hussalonia,

I am writing in regards to the breakfast cereal ban. It is no secret that millions of people begin their day with a balanced breakfast that revolves around a bowl of cereal. It is the reasonable thing to do.

However, the politically motivated breakfast cereal ban, effective January 1st, 2010, prohibits people from including cereal in their healthy, well balanced breakfasts. Sure, most people will simply replace cereal with a bowl of granola or grits. But what will the breakfast cereal mascots do? These loveable, anthropomorphic, cartoon animals have been loyally championing puffed rice and crunchy oat kibbles for nearly one hundred years. It is not fair that they should be the ones to suffer from our inability to behave.

Just the other day I saw a cartoon turtle offering twenty-five-cent shoeshines outside the local cinema. I'm pretty sure I once saw him on a box of Cruncheroos with Puffin, the marshmallow bird. It's a shame. My heart goes out to all the animated bears, birds, and elves who are currently out of work.

Stay strong, little ones.

Signed,
Soupy Sandcastle III
The Muffin Mix mascot

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from Dear Hussalonia: Letters from Animals, Mostly Ducks, released February 14, 2010

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Hussalonia Buffalo, New York

Hussalonia is largely the work of a multi-instrumentalist known only as The Hussalonia Founder.

Founded in 1997, Hussalonia is a "pop music cult" and claims to be owned by Nefarico™, a fictional soap company.

The Hussalonia Founder lives and works in Buffalo, New York.
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