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The Somewhat Surprising Re​-​Recording of Marsupial Garamond Hussalonia

by Hussalonia

/
1.
Running into friends can be really stressful. They’ll ask you where you’ve been. What have I been up to? And I don’t really know. What is the right answer? I’ve been staying home. What have I been up to? Back in ‘99 when you called me back with regularity and say, “Why don’t come out with us tonight? There’s a band that’s playing that I think you’ll like. Yeah, you’ve got to hear them.” Quarters in the phone and an ice cream sundae. I was so alone that I called you back every day. And you were right. There’s a time and place, but they hardly ever coincide. Now it’s all distant like a dream, the people who were formally known as you and me.
2.
He saw her driver’s license on the table. “I didn’t know you were older than me.” She whisked it away and raised her hand to the barmaid and said, “Tonight we’re both drinking to forget.” And though he left her feeling a little younger, every heartbeat was accounted for. And when she lent him her chapstick, he applied like a kiss, and though she does, she makes like she doesn’t notice. And if you were another girl, things would be easier than this. He sees her as his closest friend, and she keeps looking at him as a man. And when the check arrives she lets him pay it full, but she held each door open for him. “I always thought that one day you would be my best man.” And with a nervous laugh he pulled up to her house. And if you were another girl...
3.
All the Snow 02:25
Cable TV news. Your teeth are feeling light and loose, and someone wants them whiter. All the snow is filling up the front porch. Your hair is on the move, and, Jesus Christ, he disapproves. Athena can you have a word with him? All the snow is filling up the front porch. There won’t be any mail today, and here’s where the dancers pirouette, and a sinister man in a long black cape says, “Let it snow.” All the snow is filling up the front porch. It’s icy and cold. I can’t see anyone from here. All the snow is filling up the front porch.
4.
I’ve been down. I’ve been down. I’ve been feeling like concrete. Your eyes have been asking questions. Your heart’s been filling in the blanks. The city feels like it’s on fire. The weatherman doesn’t even blink. I haven’t called you back in two days. I know it feels like a week. And if you had to carry something around that wasn’t yours, would you drop it and run? And if you had to tell someone, would you tell it to me? So are you going to make a lasting impression, or are you out for the sincerest form of depression? The circus rolls into town. You can’t even find a seat. It’s seems there’s a lot of work out there for you, if you want to work for free.
5.
In a room without mirrors, I’m hardly there. It’s just tables and chairs and the space in between, and you can fill the room with people I don’t know, then I’ll have no reflection to show. I guess the same could go for anyone. We only see the moon because we really see the sun. I see so many faces everywhere I go. I should be glad for what our faces do not show. I should be glad for what my own face doesn’t show.
6.
7.
You must be a cartoon, the way you crawl from under pianos and fallen anvils. You explode and bounce right back with nary a scratch. while I am simply destroyed just watching from the side. I try to ignore all the ink on your fingertips and the crazy smile painted on your cherry lips. You must be a cartoon, the way that no one takes you seriously except little old me. I try to talk and your eyes go google. Your jaw just drops down to the floor. I float through the city streets but I’m dreaming. I go to sleep in a rabbit hole. Oh, no! I’ll tell you why I’m so uptight. Because Saturday morning always turns into Saturday night.
8.
She spits out her chewing gum on the napkin with his phone number. He calls her Jenny not Julia. He’ll do it three more times. This is a love that will kill them both. She’s distracted by her ex-boyfriend who just sat down across the bar. The DJ is in a mood. She just played all of Kid A. Fate cast a warning they’ll probably both ignore. It’s a double suicide. It ain’t over until it’s over. It’s a double suicide. No, they won’t be satisfied. Till death do us part or we’ll tear each other apart. She spits out her phone number. He chews out her ex-boyfriend. Two years later she breaks his wrist and drives him to the ER.
9.
Studies have shown that in certain groups uncertainty requires no proof. Faith is all you need to get by to uphold the smallest truth or absolve the biggest lie. And some people will not know the difference. You just have to give it a name. Repairman’s been waiting pretty long. With a name like god, how can you be wrong? Still, he’s checking for the dial tone. You could buy your baby a diamond ring, and it doesn’t have to be the genuine thing, if that’s all she wants it to be. And some people will not know the difference. You just have to give it a name.
10.
All the traffic lights have fallen under spell. They’re always red. We’ve taken it as a cautionary sign. Like an overcast sky or the changing leaves. Take heed! Take heed! Take heed! Take heed! Oh, life is so meaningful. There’s a sign at every corner to abide. Oh, I’d like to visit you, but you live several intersections away. Yeah, I haven’t gone to work for days. It must part of a bigger plan. You’re heard the man: there’s nothing you can do. Oh, life is so meaningful. There’s a sign. You’ve got to look for it or, man, there’s going to be consequences if you don’t abide. Put down your good book and take another look. There’s a guy in an orange vest directing traffic ahead. He said, “It’s okay to disobey, but, hey, you don’t have to listen to me.” And, yeah, I hear you shouting “free will.” But some of us have to round, round, get around. There are things to learn and people to love. You can just keep staring above at the empty sky asking, “Why? Why? Why? Why?” Oh, life is so meaningful. There’s a sign. There’s another sign. Hey, look, there’s a sign that you must, you must abide.
11.
I’m going to write an opera and keep it to myself. I might gather up every note, and burn it all up in smoke. Or maybe I could learn to dance. I’ll be tapping up a storm alone out in my garage. It’s gets me all choked up inside when it is worthless when it is meaningless when it’s all a waste of everyone’s time. So let the sun run out of gas or let the universe expand. We could hit a star and then explode or cruise along on our entropic road. And when it’s my turn to die, I’m going to lay down and die. I’m not returning as a tree. Don’t want no weeping Jesus embracing me. Let it be worthless. Let it be meaningless. Let it all be a waste of my time. Do it for love or do it for boredom, but it’s not getting you anywhere from here.

about

Marsupial Garamond Hussalonia was originally recorded and released in 2006 under the corporate arm of Deceptico™ with the help of their in-house band of backing musicians, The Marsupialtones. Just one year later, Deceptico™ filed for bankruptcy, largely the result of the box office bomb The Marsupialtones Save the Queen. The Hussalonia Founder worked for the fledgling Deceptico™ label for several years before being acquired by Nefarico™, a luxury soap company, in their 2011 ruthless corporate buyout of Deceptico™ and all its assets. The Hussalonia Founder remains, to this day, property of Nefarico™.

Fast forward to 2020. Mel Anoma, the independently wealthy financier who managed The Marsupialtones, filed a lawsuit against Nefarico™, claiming partial ownership of the Marsupial Garamond Hussalonia album. Because the album is largely unprofitable, a forgotten relic of the early 2000s, this litigious behavior is largely seen as being motivated by spite; Anoma’s son, Lee Anoma, married and was later divorced by the son of Nefarico™ CEO Lou Cipher, Dee Cipher. It was a highly publicized, messy divorce that cost the Anoma family large swaths of their fortune. Cipher, unwilling to engage in the petty politics of the Anoma family, deleted the album from the Nefarico catalog, quietly settled out of court, and had The Hussalonia Founder re-record the album for Nefarico™, playing all the instruments himself.

In some ways, this was a blessing in disguise for The Hussalonia Founder. While he believed in the quality of the songs written for Marsupial Garamond Hussalonia, he was, ironically, quite unhappy with the performances on the original album. Further, the album suffered from poor audio, the result of using hand-wired recording equipment engineered by “Magic” Ann Thracks, an eccentric inventor friend of the Anoma family.

So enjoy this new (somewhat surprising) 2022 recording of Marsupial Garamond Hussalonia, recorded by The Hussalonia Founder, alone in the Subterranean Hussalonia Headquarters.

— Dolores DeCabeza, Head of Nefarico™ Public Relations

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released April 8, 2022

© 2022 Hussalonia BMI.
All songs written, performed, and recorded by The Hussalonia Founder.
Cover art: Captain Blanqueador

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Hussalonia Buffalo, New York

Hussalonia is largely the work of a multi-instrumentalist known only as The Hussalonia Founder.

Founded in 1997, Hussalonia is a "pop music cult" and claims to be owned by Nefarico™, a fictional soap company.

The Hussalonia Founder lives and works in Buffalo, New York.
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